


A Tale of Two Tezukas

by Aishuu



Category: Koko wa Greenwood | Here is Greenwood, Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Humor, Look alike characters, the author should regret everything but doesn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-21 03:33:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3675831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aishuu/pseuds/Aishuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Tezuka family has always been strange, but adding Tezuka Kunimitsu to the mix creates even more trouble because his friends get involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Double the Fun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DreamingMoonlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingMoonlight/gifts).



> This is set early in Prince of Tennis, and post-series for Koko wa Greenwood.

It wasn’t uncommon for people to stop by Seigaku’s practice to observe the players. They were, after all, on the fast track to the Kantou championships, and rival schools would have been fools to ignore them. The two boys standing outside the fence that Saturday, though, attracted Inui’s notice for another reason.

He didn’t recognize their uniform.

That was decidedly odd - he thought he knew of every uniform of every school in the tournament and a few of the other major Tokyo schools for good measure, but the blue blazers weren’t bringing anything to mind. 

He frowned, studying their faces. Like most people, they were looking around with the peculiar expressions that Inui had come to learn meant that they were probably hoping to see Tezuka play. Which was too bad, because Tezuka was still inside, meeting with Ryuuzaki-sensei. Glancing over at Oishi, he cocked an eyebrow at the two. “We have observers today,” he noted.

Oishi nodded, seeming a bit thoughtful. “What school?”

“I don’t know,” Inui admitted, the words tasting vile.

“Hmmm?” Fuji said, coming over to stand by them. “You don’t?”

Inui shook his head. “No.”

“It might be because they’re scouts,” Fuji said, tapping his hand against the gut of his racquet. “They seem too old to be middle school students.”

Inui’s chagrin grin grew as he turned to look more closely at the two in the uniforms. Sure enough, they looked several years older than everyone else on the court, probably well into high school.

“They’re after Tezuka,” Oishi realized.

“Probably,” Inui agreed. “Do you want to get rid of them or should I?”

“Why not let them stay? Tezuka can take care of himself,” Fuji said, smiling still. “They’re not bothering anyone.”

Inui sighed. “I don’t like it.” He always got paranoid around too many eyes. It just wasn’t as easy to coach when others were watching the situation.

“I’ll tell them they have to leave,” Oishi said. 

“I’ll come,” Fuji said. “I want to know what school they come from.”

The two strangers turned when the trio from Seigaku came over to stand across from them, separated by the fence. Even though they were on unfamiliar ground, the one with silver hair seemed amused at them, though the blond was properly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” Oishi began apologetically, “but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We don’t let people watch our practices without permission from our captain.”

The blond looked ready to say something, but the one with silver hair held up a hand to forestall whatever that was. “We’re actually here to see your captain,” said the silver-haired young man. 

“If your trying to recruit him-” Inui began, ready to give a standard rejection since Tezuka had made it quite clear he intended on entering Seishun High School.

The two snickered. Fuji gave them a puzzled looked, but the blond waved a hand to stall as he tried to catch his breath. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just neither of us plays tennis.”

Now the Seigaku trio was thoroughly puzzled. “If you don’t want to recruit Tezuka, why do you want to see him?” Oishi asked.

“He’s family,” the silver haired one said.

“What?” Oishi asked as Fuji’s eyes fluttered open in surprise and Inui fumbled for a notebook.

The boy held out his hand. “My name’s Tezuka Shinobu. Tezuka Kunimitsu is my cousin.”

* * *

Tezuka Kunimitsu rarely got “the feeling” that something was going to go wrong, but that day as he talked to Ryuuzaki Sumire about plans for the upcoming game with Hyotei, it struck him with a vengeance.

It was hard to concentrate on plans about possible player combinations when he felt like someone was dancing merrily on his grave, but Tezuka never let his anxiety show to anyone. He forced himself to pay attention, knowing that if anything was going wrong with the club, Oishi would be able to handle it – and if Oishi wasn’t, someone would get him. Still, when Tezuka finally took his leave of his coach, he pulled his jacket around himself just a bit tighter, unable to shake the unsettling feeling that something was up – and knowing he was probably right. It didn’t happen often, but when his instincts started to warn him, Tezuka was wise enough to pay attention.

The path to the tennis court was as familiar as the back of his hands, and instead of relaxing, he felt his stomach tighten. Various scenarios began to shape in his mind, and knowing the players he was forced to attempt to keep in line, day in and day out, even the worst of what he could come up with probably wasn’t anywhere near the reality. There was some truth in the accusations that Tezuka lacked imagination, after all.

When he finally rounded the corner that brought him in sight of the court, his breath actually caught as he took in what was happening.

_Dear God, no,_ he thought, blinking once to make sure his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him, but no, they were still there, talking to Oishi, Fuji and Inui. It was only through sheer force of will that he kept his face neutral as he continued to move smoothly toward them, even though his mind was racing.

What the hell was his cousin doing here, he wondered, trying to keep from panicking. Dealing with his relatives wasn’t something he enjoyed, and while he preferred Shinobu to his other cousin (anyone with any ounce of sanity would), he much preferred Shinobu when he was on the other side of Japan. Shinobu had the strangest sense of humor, and seemed to think Tezuka needed to lighten up. He wasn’t particularly vicious in his methods, but he was too sly for Tezuka to be comfortable with. Come to think of it, he reminded Tezuka of someone... Glancing around, his eyes fell on Fuji, and his stomach tightened even more. 

Oh, no. This was not a good thing at _all._

* * *

If there was one thing Fuji Syuusuke prided himself on (aside from his ability to cause chaos with seeming innocence), it was his perception. He didn’t let much slip by him, and when he met Tezuka’s cousin, something stuck him as... off. Not wrong, because he was convinced that Tezuka Shinobu was who he claimed to be, but something seemed to be going on that wasn’t being explained out loud, and Fuji wanted to know what it was. The purple eyed boy seemed to be nervous, and that wasn’t right.

Fuji was interested.

Oishi, on learning who was there, immediately began to apologize for his self-perceive rudeness. “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have kept you waiting! I’ll go and get Tezuka right now and let him know you’re here-“ he said, turning to rush off.

Shinobu held up a hand to forestall him. “That’s not necessary. I’m sure he’ll be here soon.”

“He’s in a meeting with Ryuuzaki-sensei, and sometimes they last for a very long time,” Oishi began to explain, but the older boy smiled in a way that was probably supposed to be reassuring and didn’t quite come off right.

At least, not to Fuji. Oishi, though, relaxed a little.

“Trust me.”

Shinobu’s friend, whose name Fuji still hadn’t caught, glanced around. “Are you sure we should be wasting time here, Shinobu?” he asked, his eyes shifting.

“I’m sure,” Shinobu assured him, resting a hand on his shoulder. “This is all part of the plan.”

“Plan?” Inui asked curiously, and his notebook was out. Oishi hissed in a low breath that he was being rude, but Inui ignored him, scribbling madly in glee at the possibility of getting some new information on their tight-lipped captain.

“In a moment,” Shinobu said. Turning his head slightly, he seemed to be waiting for something.

Or someone. Less than ten seconds later, Tezuka turned the corner in a strange instant of timing that was almost too uncanny to be coincidental. Tezuka didn’t stumble, but the way his eyes widened in the most marginal of fashions was notable to someone who knew him well. Something about seeing his cousin unsettled him, but Tezuka, as always, was intent on displaying absolutely no visible reaction to the shock he was feeling. He moved toward them at a steady place, his eyes locked on his cousin. “What are you doing here?” he asked, and his voice wasn’t particularly friendly.

“That’s no way to greet your favorite cousin, Mitsu-chan,” Shinobu chided him.

Fuji had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. _Mitsu-chan?_ Hearing that was enough to make his day, and he had the sneaking suspicious that Tezuka Shinobu was going to say much, much more that was going to be _much_ more interesting before all was said and done. 

There was nothing in the world that was going to persuade Fuji to move from that spot. Inui appeared to agree from the way he was writing so quickly he was barely able to keep up with the conversation; Oishi was the odd man out, resembling a deer caught in the headlights, not sure what to do.

Tezuka pushed his glasses up his nose, the only sign he was irritated. “Shinobu-niisan, I’m busy right now. This had better be important.”

A bit of the laughter faded from the older boy’s face, and he exchanged a glance with his friend. “It is.”

“What is it?” Tezuka asked, his carefully neutral voice a strange counterpoint to the utter seriousness to Shinobu’s “this matter is life and death” tone.

“Nagisa.” 

Shinobu only said one word, but Tezuka’s reaction was absolutely wonderful. Fuji hadn’t known Tezuka could twitch like that. This was getting more and more interesting by the moment.

* * *

Tezuka felt his body jerk in remembered pain at the mention of _her_ name, and immediately regretted the reaction. His voice was tight as he said the first thing that came to mind. “She didn’t follow you, did she?”

“She didn't need to. I think she’s actually after you now,” his cousin informed him, and from his eyes, Tezuka could tell that Shinobu was being serious.

The explanative that escaped Tezuka’s lips made Oishi lose his grip on the racquet he had been holding, and Fuji’s eyes flew open wide. Neither of them had ever heard the calm and collected captain of Seigaku’s tennis club _swear._ Inui was muttering under his breath, and switched notebooks. 

“Who's Nagisa?” Oishi asked hesitantly, obviously concerned.

“The craziest woman known to human kind,” said Shinobu’s friend, earning himself a raised eyebrow from Shinobu.

Tezuka knew that he had some explaining to do. He had always hoped that his family would keep itself out of his tennis life, but it was obvious that it was not to be. Shinobu didn't involve himself in the nonessentials, and if he thought Nagisa was up to something serious enough that it necessitated his direct intervention, that meant the situation was positively dire. 

But he really didn’t want to open the closet on the family skeletons in front of Fuji and Inui. There was no telling what they’d do. Oishi was trustworthy, and while he considered Inui a friend, he trusted him just about as far as he could throw him. And then Fuji... Tezuka still hadn’t made up his mind on that score. Fuji was entirely unpredictable. For all he knew, Fuji might decide to help Nagisa for the sheer amusement value of watching everyone squirm. The sadist behind the rarely seen blue eyes might just find the black-haired woman’s insanity delightful.

He mentally shook the thought from his head. Fuji wouldn’t do anything to deliberately hurt him. He was intensely loyal to his friends. 

The three were looking at him, waiting for an explanation. “Nagisa is my cousin,” he said after a moment.

“My sister,” Shinobu said, nodding before the question could be asked. 

“And she doesn’t like me much,” Tezuka finished. The snicker Shinobu let out was slight, but Tezuka wasn’t amused. “It’s your fault,” he said bluntly.

“Nagisa doesn’t like any male Tezuka, Mitsu-chan,” Shinobu said. “She has an inferiority complex.”

“You made it worse by pointing out repeatedly that I was your favorite relative to deliberately provoke her,” Tezuka said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Shinobu pasted an expression of perfect innocence on his face. “Would I do that?”

“Yes.”

The one who still hadn’t been introduced coughed into his hand, trying to hide a laugh and failing. “He’s got you there, Shinobu.”

“Yes, yes. Mitsu-chan, I’d like you to meet Ikeda Mitsuru, my roommate.”

Both boys nodded at the other. “Shinobu-niisan, it’s nice to be meeting your friend, but what is Nagisa after?”

“I think she’s going to kidnap you to get to me,” Shinobu said. “She’s fond of kidnapping people, and her since her last two attempts failed, I think she has a new plan. We’re going to stop her.”

Oishi looked alarmed. “Your sister is going to kidnap Tezuka? Shouldn’t we call the police?”

The smile Shinobu gave him made Tezuka’s hair stand up on the back of his neck. “Oh, no. She’s family. We handle it inside the family.... and that’s why I brought Mitsuru.”

* * *

Whatever Mitsuru had been expecting “Mitsu-chan” to be like, Tezuka Kunimitsu certainly wasn’t it.

Getting dragged out of class hadn't been on his agenda, either, but Shinobu never thought rules applied to him. So when he showed up, claiming that there was an emergency and saying he needed to “borrow” Ikeda Mitsuru, the teacher couldn’t get Mitsuru out of there fast enough, eager to please the student body president of Ryokuto High School.

Even teachers bowed to Tezuka Shinobu.

After finding himself rudely man-handled by a few of his more enthusiastic classmates and practically into Shinobu’s arms, he gave Shinobu a confused look. His roommate’s body language was all wrong for there to really be an emergency, so Mitsuru wondered what the hell was going on. “What’s wrong?” he demanded. He had a math test next period, which Shinobu knew very well since Mitsuru had been up till 3 a.m. studying.

Shinobu was leaning against the wall, his posture relaxed in the manner of a cat waiting to pounce. “I got a call about fifteen minutes ago. My loving sister is up to something.”

Mitsuru was more amused than anything else by Nagisa, since her harebrained schemes tended to go disastrously wrong in ways that were hilarious. “Who’s she going to kidnap this time?” he asked a bit sarcastically.

“Mitsu-chan,” and from the look in Shinobu’s eyes, whoever “Mitsu-chan” was, Nagisa had just stepped across the line that kept Shinobu’s counters to her ploys relatively benign. Benign for Shinobu, that was.

“Who’s Mitsu-chan?” Mitsuru asked on cue.

“My cousin.” Shinobu’s reply was frozen, and Mitsuru could see the button Nagisa was about to hit was one that was going to get her in very, very hot water. 

_Shinobu has a family member he actually likes? Wonders never cease,_ Mitsuru noted with amusement. As Shinobu’s best friend, there was only one thing he could say. “So what are we going to do?” 

What it involved was skipping the rest of the school day so they could take the subway to “Mitsu-chan’s” school, halfway across the city. Shinobu was in a thoughtful mood, not speaking really. Mitsuru used the chance to do his homework, since he had the sneaking feeling he wouldn’t have the chance later on.

Seigaku proved to be just as good a school as Ryokuto, but when Shinobu headed for the tennis courts, he was confused. “Where are we going?”

“Mitsu-chan’s captain of the tennis club,” Shinobu informed his friend.

And “Mitsu-chan” was... just it was the _boys_ team. Mitsuru hadn’t been expecting a guy. It had taken a second to reconcile that fact, but when it became clear that they would be waiting for a guy, Mitsuru tried to get a mental picture of what a guy who was related to both Shinobu and Nagisa would be like. It certainly wasn’t what he got. The tall, mature-seeming boy radiated the same control and confidence that Shinobu had in spades, but that was about all in common.

For one thing, “Mitsu-chan” appeared to have no sense of humor. His expression was tight-reigned and controlled, and he seemed to be irritated by his older cousin’s presence. “Mitsu-chan” seemed to be a very poor misnomer, one which Shinobu probably used to drive his serious cousin crazy. 

Right now, Mitsu-chan was looking at Mitsuru with watchful eyes, weighing him careful eyes.

“You said that your friend is going to... help?” he asked Shinobu, his eyes not wavering from Mitsuru’s face.

“Oh, yes. He’s a vital part of my plan.”

Mitsu-chan’s eyes drifted away. “What plan?”

Shinobu seemed like a cat who had gotten into the cream.

That was something Mitsuru wanted to know, too. Today Shinobu was playing his cards close to his chest. 

From a pocket, Shinobu produced a pair of glasses and before Mitsuru could react, slid them onto Mitsuru’s face. “Everyone, say hello to the new Tezuka Kunimitsu.”

* * *

Oishi Syuiichirou had no idea what was going on, but that wasn’t that unusual. He was used to dealing with a club full of unique personalities, so he knew he shouldn’t be surprised at whatever insanity encroached on his daily life. Somehow, though, he never expected it to originate from Tezuka.

Tezuka’s cousin wasn’t at all like him. There was a slyness to him that reminded Oishi more of Fuji than of anyone else, a slight tilt in the older boy’s head that made Oishi think that Shinobu was laughing at them. Had Oishi been asked, he would have guessed that Shinobu was Fuji’s relative, not Tezuka’s. Then again, Oishi remembered meeting Tezuka’s mother, and she was very similar. Tezuka’s reaction to her, a “God grant me patience” look on his face that only his closest friends would be able to read, was also very alike. But she wasn’t related to Shinobu by blood since Shinobu bore Tezuka’s family name.

Oishi jerked himself out of his mental wanderings as Ikeda Mitsuru toyed with the glasses which Shinobu had deposited on his face. “Um, Shinobu?” he asked.

“Ever hear of a stunt double?” he asked.

Oishi looked at Mitsuru, and frowned a bit. The boy had striking purple eyes that were even brighter than Momoshiro’s, different than Tezuka’s light brown ones, but aside from that, he and Tezuka were quite similar. The hair, the body type, coloring... 

“Oh, I see,” said Fuji, looking back and forth between the Tezuka and Mitsuru in amusement. 

Shinobu looked over at Fuji, and a lead ball settled in Oishi’s stomach at their eyes met. The look the two exchanged boded no good for anyone who crossed them, and he recognized that kindred spirits were acknowledging each other as Fuji tilted his head slightly at the same time Shinobu gave an equally slight nod. “Exactly.”

“I don’t see,” Mitsuru said. “You can’t think that Nagisa is going to think I’m your cousin.”

Tezuka raised a hand to his forehead and massage what looked to be the beginnings of a tension headache. “Why on earth do you want me to switch places with your friend, Shinobu-niisan?”

Oishi wanted to know, too. “Tezuka is quite capable of taking care of himself,” he agreed. 

“Not against Nagisa,” Shinobu argued. “She’s been hiring thugs lately.”

Tezuka actually sighed aloud. “She won’t do anything permanent. My father will have me back in time for school tomorrow.”

“You mean you want to get kidnapped?” Fuji asked curiously. 

“No. I don’t think she’ll succeed, but if she does, it won’t last,” Tezuka said patiently.

Mitsuru nodded, pulled the glasses off, and tried to hand them back to Shinobu. “He’s got a point. Everything your sister does fails.”

Shinobu just crossed his arms. “Tezuka, she plans on using you as a test subject to see how much Digimon a person can take before they go stark raving mad.”

The expression on Tezuka’s face almost cracked. “Mitsuru-san, let’s go to the club room and switch clothes. Oishi, please take care of dismissing practice for me, would you?”

Oishi could only nod. Then again, with a threat like that, even Tezuka would have to bend.

* * *

Watching from practice, Ryoma knew something was up. Most of the players were trying to hide their obvious interest in who Tezuka was talking to, but the way buchou actually _stiffened_ slightly he spoke to the newcomers was definitely worthy of note.

Not that he believed anyone except himself noticed it. Of the regulars who were still on the court, he was the only one who knew Tezuka well enough to read the subtle body language that practically needed its own Rosetta Stone. Kikumaru might have had the vision to see what was happening, but he didn’t have the patience to learn “Tezukan.” Momoshiro was too locked into the obvious, and Kawamura, while perceptive at times, was too retiring to dare get close to the captain in his normal state, and when he went on “fire” it would take a freight train to make him pay attention. Kaidou might have been able to learn, but his inherent respect for the privacy of his senpai made sure he didn’t.

So Ryoma was left feeling quite a bit left out when his more observant senpai crowded around Tezuka, talking about something. Even though watching Tezuka was entertaining, it was rarely informative. Fuji was similar, since the smile hardly ever left his face, and with his glasses and trying to read Inui was like trying to read binary code. Luckily Oishi was there with them, and Oishi was an open book.

Oishi’s expressions changed as quickly as the weather, as wariness faded into concern, then confusion, to outright worry. Oishi wasn’t the called the “Mother of Seigaku” for nothing, but the way he looked at Tezuka made Ryoma wonder how wrong things were about to go.

This was Seigaku; considering their track record, the answer was very wrong.

Ryoma wasn’t the type to butt into other people’s business, but neither was he the type to ignore what was going on around him... if it involved tennis. And to him, Tezuka and tennis were interchangeable. 

Finally the sextet seemed to come to some kind of resolution, because Tezuka left with the two strangers without even coming to practice, something that made Ryoma sniff with indignation. _What could be important enough to distract Tezuka from practice?_ he wondered.

Whatever it was, it had Oishi on edge when he came back. “We’re going to end early!” he called. “Everyone, ten laps around the court, then change!” he called.

Inui tapped Oishi on the shoulder, and Ryoma recognized the gleam on those glasses. His stomach automatically tightened in dread.

“Anyone who doesn’t make each lap in 55 seconds gets to sample Inui’s Revitalization Juice, patent pending,” the data player announced.

Everyone squeaked and took off running, but Ryoma knew a distraction when he saw one. His senpai were up to something, and he had every intention of finding out what.

Now how to go about it? Chances were that Oishi wouldn’t tell him, and tangling with Inui was bad for his health, literally. And Fuji, well, bad things happened to people who annoyed the tensai.

That left...

He grinned slightly, pulling on the brim of his cap. The old “follow him!” routine they were all so fond of would just have to do...

...as soon as he finished his laps.

* * *

As Tezuka slid on the Ryokuto uniform Mitsuru had abandoned, he reflected on Shinobu’s plan. He knew it was a Very Bad Idea, but he also realized that trying to stop Shinobu would be like trying to stop a freight train with a piece of cardboard.

Shinobu had declared that Tezuka was going to go with him to dinner, while Mitsuru would proceed to Tezuka’s house. Mitsuru had protested he had no clue where that was, but Fuji had stepped in. “I’ll take you there,” he offered, smiling benignly. “I have some spare time, and I can explain to Tezuka’s mother what is going on.”

Tezuka could just _imagine_ what Fuji would say. He turned to ask Oishi to do it instead, but Shinobu was already approving the plan. “That will work. You should stay there until we come for you. That’s assuming you make it there in the first place, of course.”

“Assuming?” Oishi echoed, squeaking a bit. Tezuka felt sorry for his friend, but he wasn’t about to explain that this was the usual insanity he suffered through when dealing with his relatives.

“Nagisa doesn’t have much patience,” Shinobu said. “Chances are she’ll kidnap Mitsu-chan before he arrives... or his stunt double, in this case.”

Inui clicked his pen a couple of times thoughtfully. “What is the point in letting your roommate being taken instead of Tezuka, Shinobu-san?” he asked, trying to puzzle it out. “It will still amount to kidnapping.”

Shinobu resembled a cat who had gotten into a full container of cream. “She’s already kidnapped Mitsuru once, and it didn’t work out quite right for her. The trauma of seeing him again might be educational.”

He and Mitsuru had gone to the club room to exchange clothes after Mitsuru had agreed to meet Fuji outside of the school gates. Tezuka briefly wondered if he should warn Mitsuru about Fuji, but then decided anyone who was friends with his cousin didn’t need any kind of warning.

The uniform fit quite well, though he had a bit of a problem with the tie, since he rarely wore one. 

“Let me help you,” Shinobu volunteered.

It would have been childish to say no, but Tezuka didn’t want his cousin anywhere near him when he was wrapping what amounted to a noose around his throat. “Thank you,” he said gravely.

Shinobu’s fingers deftly made the knot which had been giving Tezuka so much trouble. “There,” he said, patting it into place in a fashion that was on just the right side of patronizing. 

Tezuka nodded, but didn’t otherwise reply. He felt like he was playing dress-up.

Stepping back, he examined his cousin carefully. “Those have to go,” he pronounced, and he snatched Tezuka’s spectacles off his face. Pocketing them, he smirked a bit. “You can have them back later,” he said before Tezuka could interject.

Tezuka scowled deeply. The world was looking a bit fuzzy, and he felt disoriented which was the last thing he wanted to be when dealing with Shinobu.

“Um, guys? How do I look?” Mitsuru called from across the room.

They turned to see Shinobu’s roommate looking at them uncertainly. Tezuka had given Mitsuru his black Seigaku uniform, and it fit perfectly. The gold frames on his face sat on his nose. Tezuka was a bit too far away to see clearly (and minus his glasses), but he had the feeling he was looking into a weird funhouse sort of mirror.

Especially since Mitsuru was shifting back and forth awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable.

Shinobu sighed. “Can you try to look a bit more... well, stiff?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t look like Mitsu-chan. Your posture is all wrong. You need to look like you have a stick stuck up your...”

“I get the point!” Mitsuru interrupted hurriedly.

It was only his supreme control that kept Tezuka from strangling his “beloved” cousin then and there.


	2. Double Trouble

Tezuka Nagisa lived a hard life. She was raised in a family that didn’t appreciate her, because she had Mr. Perfect for a brother — and to make things worse, her cousin was Mr. Perfect, too. She wasn’t fond on Kun-chan at all. Nagisa rarely saw him, but when she did, his presence just underscored how terrible things were for her.

It wasn’t enough that she was a neglected child. It wasn’t enough that her parents blatantly favored her brother over her. It wasn’t enough that she had to grow up in the shadow of someone younger than she was. Oh, no. Her cousin was exactly the same as Shinobu: perfect in every aspect. Popular, handsome, student council president... and he was only fourteen. To make matters worse, he didn’t even have the same annoying personality as Shinobu. Kun-chan seemed intent on ignoring her. Shinobu would at least react if she pushed him hard enough. Kun-chan seemed intent of proving that it was possible to be colder than an ice cube.

She didn’t get it. How come everyone was so intent on talking about how wonderful Kun-chan was?

The final straw was hearing about how Kun-chan was expected to win national recognition this year for his tennis. It was all her father could talk about — how Kunimitsu was going to become a pro player, and bring glory to the family name. It would be quite an honor — Shinobu would take over the family company, and Tezuka would be a special relation that would attract attention and renown. How perfect that was!

Nagisa had seethed. Nagisa had played when she was younger, and while she had become very good, she had never even merited a “good job." There was absolutely no place for her in her father’s kingdom-building scheme. And how the heck had Kun-chan gotten so good, anyway? Tennis required passion, and as far as she could see, Kun-chan was as passionate as a dead fish.

Life was not fair.

Wasn’t it enough that she had to put up with Shinobu? Why the hell was she cursed to have two of them in her life?

The thing that really bothered her was Kun-chan’s lack of personality. Shinobu was constantly saying Kun-chan was his favorite relative, which annoyed Nagisa to no end because as far as she could see there was no personality there to favor. Maybe Kun-chan was hiding the fact that he was crazy, she thought. Keeping a strict control to keep from cracking like an egg. The heavens knew that being related to Shinobu would do that to a person!

Or even if he wasn’t crazy, might it be possible to make him that way? she wondered, chewing on a fingernail thoughtfully. It would be very hard for him to keep winning his precious tennis games if he was actually crazier than a loon.

A smile formed on her face as she realized exactly what she had to do. By the time she was done with Kun-chan, there wouldn’t be enough left of his sanity for him to think straight, let alone play tennis.

It was cruel, Nagisa admitted to herself, but it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it.

* * *

Fuji Syuusuke was always looking for amusement, and the fact that it had just fallen into his lap was more than he could have asked for.

Inui had upped the ante at the last lap, as per usual, and managed to poison everyone on the team except the regulars. It was a good thing. It would make it easier for Fuji to slip away and change quickly as the non-regulars groaned and twitched on the ground, while Oishi worried over them. He winked at Oishi, who gave him a look that was divided between concern and fear.

Oishi knew that Fuji was up to something, but had no clue what.

Rushing to the club room, he slipped out of his tennis clothes and grabbed his school bag along with Tezuka’s, which Mitsuru had intentionally left behind as an excuse for Fuji to accompany him, instead of walking with Kikumaru as per usual.

“Hoi hoi!” Kikumaru called. “You’re in a hurry!”

“Tezuka forgot his bag,” Fuji said, juggling both bags. “I need to catch up with him.”

Kikumaru smiled. “I’ll come with you!” he volunteered.

Fuji had been expecting that. Kikumaru was always willing to tag along because he loved to be around people. That was why they had already planned a distraction.

“I think Oishi wanted to talk to you, actually,” Fuji said.

Kikumaru, never one to sense a trick, totally ignored Fuji’s sly look. “Really?”

“I’ve got to go,” Fuji said, waving a hand as he hustled out of the club room. “Maybe you and Oishi can walk home together.”

That killed two birds with one stone. He knew Oishi had fully intended on coming over to Tezuka’s after distracting Eiji, but planting the notion of walking home together in Eiji’s brain was a masterstroke. There would be no way that Oishi would be able to escape, which suited Fuji just fine.

Oishi would spend the evening squirming, wondering what the hell was going on.

Now to take care of Inui, Fuji thought.

Inui would be more difficult to deal with, because Inui was more cautious. Inui wasn’t able to read Fuji anymore than Oishi was, but the easiest way through Inui was Kaidou. Inui had an almost unholy interest in his kohai’s training.

Kaidou was hissing a bit as he walked to the room, obviously on the way to change. Fuji knew that Kaidou was likely to change into a different set of exercise clothes, since he would be working on his extended menu.

Fuji frankly thought he was obsessive. Tennis was fun, but there was such a thing as a life. Kaidou didn’t seem to have one.

Well, Fuji might actually be doing his kohai a service, if his plan succeeded. If not...

Well, it would still be fun to watch the fall-out.

Walking up to Kaidou, he paused for a second, and proceeded to wear his best puzzled expression.

“What are you doing here?” he wondered.

“Huh?” Kaidou asked, though it came out sounding more as a hiss than anything else.

Fuji frowned thoughtfully. “I thought... never mind.”

Kaidou stared at him in genuine confusion — and no wonder. There was no way he could have a clue what Fuji was talking about.

“Fuji-senpai, what are you talking about?”

Fuji shrugged. “It’s just that Inui told me that you and he were... never mind. I guess I was wrong. I didn’t think you were like that, anyway.” He proceeded to give Kaidou his best smile, before racing off to meet Mitsuru.

He could practically hear Kaidou’s internal thoughts work themselves into a frenzy as they automatically assumed the worst.

Oh, he hadn’t had so much fun in weeks.

* * *

Mitsuru was amused by the whole mess, once he figured out exactly what was going on. Dealing with Nagisa tended to take a lot of energy, but her reactions when things went sour were simply priceless.

Besides, he always wanted to go undercover.

Wearing the uniform of a middle school student was giving him flashbacks, and he adjusted his collar a bit, smiling a bit in nostalgia. The cuffs were just a bit long, which seemed to be a bit insulting in a way. It wasn’t right that a middle-school student was taller than he was.

But Mitsu-chan was Shinobu’s cousin, so Mitsuru should have expected him to excel.

He waited just inside the gate, waiting for Fuji to catch up. He estimated that the middle school student would take about fifteen minutes to do his laps and change, which left plenty of time to kill. He glanced at his watch a few times, watching as the time ticked down.

Other clubs were letting out, and he was annoyed that he wasn’t able to say anything to the girls who were wandering by. He was under the impression that Mitsu-chan held himself aloof from his classmates, so waving or interacting was out. It royally sucked. Being in an all boy’s school made him appreciate the fairer sex (even if they were a few years younger than he was), and not being able to at least openly show that admiration was unjust.

It was so idiotic. How could the boy attend a co-ed school and not appreciate it?

Still, Mitsuru leaned against the wall, remembering to keep his posture rigid. A few girls snuck glances at him, and he ignored them. They tittered a bit, and he decided that the untouchable routine might have something going for it.

“Tezuka-kun?” a voice said from his side.

Mitsuru didn’t notice for a second, thinking the person was referring to his roommate before he remembered that was Mitsu-chan’s last name. Turning his head slightly, he noted a pretty girl shifting back and forth on her heels, looking uneasy.

He hoped she was standing back far enough not to see his eyes, and that the glasses were good enough camouflage. “Yes?” he asked, and then remembered too late that Mitsu-chan’s voice was much deeper than his.

Some things in life just didn’t make sense.

She blinked a bit, but apparently decided to ignore it. “Um... I wanted to ask if you had considered my question?” she said, staring down at her hands.

Mitsuru felt a nervous sweat break out along the back of his neck. He had no clue what she was talking about, who she was, or anything. “I haven’t had a chance to give it any thought yet,” he said honestly enough. “Can you ask me tomorrow?” he hedged.

She looked confused. “But I need to know tonight!” she said, looking up at him earnestly, meeting his eyes squarely.

Mitsuru tried to jerk his eyes away, but it was too late. She had seen.

Blinking a bit, she leaned in closer. Her breath caught, and Mitsuru cursed inside. He hadn’t even been able to make it off campus without getting caught! Some double he made! Shinobu was going to kill him!

“Did you get contacts?” she asked eagerly.

* * *

Walking beside Shinobu was something that Tezuka hadn’t done in a while, and he was reminded why. Whenever he was with his cousin, he always felt on his guard, as though Shinobu was about to say or do something that would adversely affect him.

It rarely happened, but it was though few times that Shinobu actually acted that had taught Tezuka to be wary. Come to think of it, it was very like dealing with Fuji.

The tie around his neck was too tight, but Tezuka didn’t dare loosen it. He felt as though the world was slightly distant without his glasses, and having Shinobu with him made him wonder if he was in some kind of bizarre dream – or nightmare. He was half expecting his alarm to go off.

He didn’t ask where they were going, because Shinobu probably wouldn’t tell him. Shinobu delighted in keeping secrets just for the sake of having them. Tezuka decided that it would be best to just keep quiet and learn where they were going when they got there.

Shinobu seemed to like the silence, but after about ten minutes, he broke it. “How’s ojiisan?” he asked.

Tezuka had never been quite sure how their grandfather had ended up living with them, since his father was the younger son. Sometimes he regretted it, since while he had been raised to respect his elders, it was hard to respect someone whom he suspected Nagisa had inherited her insanity from. “The same.”

“Ah,” Shinobu said. “Father asked about you.”

Tezuka wasn’t particularly concerned. Shinobu’s father may have been the current head of the family, since their grandfather had dropped the responsibility on him when he turned eighteen, but Tezuka knew that he didn’t have anything to worry about. He had tennis, and that was all that mattered. “That’s good,” he said.

“He has been upset with my brother,” Shinobu continued, “and actually is considering seeing if your father would mind switching.”

Switching? Tezuka wondered. He didn’t really see that much of his cousin Akira, who had always struck him as a man who would always be just shy of being good enough. “What do you mean?”

“An heir and a spare,” Shinobu said. “That old saying. And since you’re already a Tezuka, it would be simple to arrange a discreet switch.”

Tezuka would have claimed it was Shinobu pulling his leg, but sadly he knew that his uncle had some rather unorthodox notions about inheritance. He’d already declared that Shinobu was his heir, instead of one of his two older children, so it wouldn’t be too large of a surprise to see him attempt to try to talk his brother into switching children.

And Tezuka had the sneaking suspicious that if enough money exchanged hands, his father would agree. “I’d rather not,” he said, hoping to nip it in the bud.

“Are you sure? I think it’d be fun to have a little brother.”

“I like being an only child,” he informed Shinobu.

Shinobu thought on it for a second. “True. My siblings are both insane. I don’t know how I’d deal with a sane one.”

“Maybe the condition is contagious. It’s something I’d rather not risk,” Tezuka said in his driest tone.

Shinobu actually came to an abrupt halt. “Do you know that was almost funny, Mitsu-chan?”

“No. Talk to your father, Shinobu-niisan,” Tezuka said.

Shinobu sighed as the two resumed their walk toward a destination Tezuka still didn’t know. “I’ll see to it. Still, it would have been fun.”

* * *

Ryoma had finished his laps and quickly departed to find out what was going on with his captain. It had been hard to decline Momoshiro's invitation to burgers, but sacrifices sometimes had to be made. Back in his uniform, he set off to catch up with Tezuka, or, failing that, Fuji. Dealing with Fuji was like dancing on very thin ice - a wrong step could send you stumbling through - but chances were he'd know what was going on.

It didn't take long to find Tezuka, waiting by the gate, but the sight immediately set alarms off in Ryoma's head. Tezuka was talking a _girl_ and his body posture was all wrong. He seemed... to be getting pushed back?

That wasn't in line at all with the Tezuka Ryoma knew. Tezuka was completely indifferent to the blatant flirtations many girls offered him, an expert in the art of the brush off. This time, though, he was leaning back slightly, moving his head subtly from side to side as he sought an escape route.

Ryoma's eyes narrowed as he studied him. The hair and uniform were right, and no one else in school wore those particular glasses, but... It hit Ryoma (who admittedly wasn't the most observant people) like a ton of bricks. The Tezuka at the gate was an imposter. He almost stumbled as he realized what was happening. The boy was the one who had intruded on their practice earlier.

Things were interesting, weren't they? It really was none of his business why there was a fake Tezuka wandering around, but his curiosity was piqued. A slight smirk lit Ryoma's face and he walked straight at the fake.

"Yo, buchou?" he called, unable to keep quiet.

The fake Tezuka looked at him with barely contained panic, and Ryoma's sharp sight saw that the eyes were nearly the same unusual violet as Momo-senpai's. The girl who had been trying to talk to Tezuka continued to babble, ignoring the newcomer.

"I like them! But why are you wearing glasses on top of contacts?" She leaned in closer. "The color is really very pretty."

"He doesn't like wearing bifocals," another voice said from behind them, and Ryoma felt his body stiffen. There was only one person with that distinctive alto. 

Fuji walked over to the imposter, and grabbed his arm. "Kunimitsu, we need to get going. You were going to help me with my... homework." 

"I'm always glad for your... help, Syuusuke..." he said. He leaned a bit toward Fuji, a posture that was full of invitation.

Now Ryoma _knew_ this Tezuka was a fake. There was no way in a hundred years Tezuka would ever respond to Fuji's teasing flirtation in kind.

Luckily, the girl didn't know Tezuka as well as Ryoma did, and she fell for it, hook, line and sinker. The slight innuendo wasn't missed by her, who turned a brilliant shade of red, glancing back and forth between Fuji and the other boy. "I-I've got homework!" she declared, hurrying off as though someone had set her skirt on fire.

The three boys stared at each other for a long minute before Ryoma cracked the silence. "Who are you?"

Fuji merely smiled. "Don't you recognize your captain?"

Ryoma snorted, crossing his arms and waited for an explanation.

* * *

Mitsuru found the boy nearly as amusing as he found Suka-chan. 

Ryoma and Fuji were both walking him toward Tezuka's house. Ryoma had refused to leave once he found out that something was going on, and Fuji had offered to let him walk with them. Mitsuru hadn't liked the idea of adding someone else to their plan, but they hadn't had any other option.

"Tezuka-buchou's family is weird," had been Ryoma's only comment on hearing about what was going on.

Fuji seemed to find the whole situation vastly amusing, and preceded to begin tweaking Mitsuru the same way he did Tezuka. Mitsuru didn't rise to the bait or twitch at Fuji's needling, instead offering his own subtle comments that caused a slight blush to rise in Ryoma's cheeks.

"What kind of sports do you play?" Fuji asked.

"Whatever. I'm pretty good at most everything, but I really like martial arts."

"I tried them for a while, but I found I got too... sweaty."

"There's good kinds of sweaty. If you work... hard at it, it can be a lot of fun."

"Maybe you can show me a few moves? Maybe I wasn't learning with the right... partner."

Yes, they definitely had Ryoma looking embarrassed. Mitsuru stole a look, forcing himself to keep from smiling. It was very satisfying to unsettle someone who seemed to be a cocky little brat. He was so lost in his amusement that it took him a second to notice the car which was creeping up on them. 

The black vehicle rolled to a stop right beside the trio, and Mitsuru tried not to tense. The car doors slammed open, and within moments the boys were surrounded by four thug-like men wearing suits and sunglasses - Nagissa's henchmen.

He sighed, straightened the glasses on his nose, and looked over at Fuji and Ryoma. "We're about to be kidnapped," he warned.

Fuji looked at the men in black with an interested expression. "I've never been kidnapped before. Sounds like fun."

The man in the lead, commonly known as "A," looked at the boys, a bit disconcerted. "Aren't you going to fight?"

"Of course," Fuji said, pulling out a tennis racket from his bag. "It wouldn't be a proper kidnapping if we didn't put up a struggle."

Mitsuru had Tezuka's tennis racket out as well, but found it made a poor substitute for a boken, and was quickly grabbed. Fuji and Ryoma put up more of a fight. It only took two minutes for the men to subdue the boys, but in those minutes Ryoma got off eight twist serves, two of which landed in places which threatened reproductive capability while Fuji managed to hit all four thugs in the heads at least once.

In the end, though, they all ended up hogtied and in the back seat. Ryoma scowled in annoyance, but Fuji merely smiled at Mitsuru. For some reason, that smile sent chills down Mitsuru's spine.


	3. Rope Tricks

They stood at a bus stop. Tezuka didn't know where they were about to go, but he doubted it was back to Shinobu's school. His cousin wasn't the type to let things happen outside of his control.

He looked warily at where Shinobu was standing with his hands neatly folded behind his back. He was perfectly composed, like usual, which made Tezuka want to start shaking him. Was he taking Nagisa seriously, or merely having fun at Tezuka's expense?

Probably both, knowing his cousin. Shinobu detested Nagisa with the fire of one thousand suns, but he never missed an opportunity for amusement. He reminded Tezuka a certain teammate who was overly fond of wasabi.

That was why Tezuka kept his mouth shut. He knew encouraging Shinobu by showing any reaction would just make him worse. So Tezuka stood, wishing he had brought one of his textbooks, as he shifted his weight every now and then to keep his feet from getting sore. At least studying would have been a productive use of his time, instead of wondering what Shinobu was up to.

They waited quietly for about ten minutes until Shinobu looked at his watch and smiled in satisfaction. It was a smile that made Tezuka's stomach drop to the vicinity of his shoes. He wished that he had enough restraint not to show his curiosity, but experience had taught him, painfully at times, that forewarned was forearmed, especially when his family was involved.

"What are you doing?" he asked, knowing that Shinobu was up to _something._ Shinobu was always up to something, and it usually didn't bode any good for anybody in his sphere of influence.

"Checking our schedule. If things are on target, Mitsuru was just kidnapped by Nagisa's goons." He sounded smug. 

"And that's okay with you?" Tezuka asked dryly. 

"It's all in the plan, Mitsu-chan," Shinobu said reassuringly, patting his cousin on the back reassuringly. He wisely slid out of arm's reach almost immediately after. Tezuka's temper was uncharacteristically on the verge of fraying.

"Do you care to share this plan, Shinobu-niisan?" Tezuka asked. He hated being in the dark, since he trusted Shinobu as far as he could throw him. He may have found his cousin amusing occasionally, but his well-developed sense of self preservation kicked in too often for him to be comfortable around Shinobu.

The wounded look in Shinobu's eyes didn't fool Tezuka for an instant. "Really, Mitsu-chan, can't you have some faith in me?"

"Not when my welfare is directly involved," Tezuka replied bluntly. "Or my teammate's." If he had things figured right, he was pretty sure that Fuji had been taken with Mitsuru. He frowned as he considered the possibility. "Did you talk to Fuji?" he asked suspiciously.

"I might have given him a few thoughts, but he really is quite intelligent. I'm very impressed with your taste in friends."

Tezuka rubbed his forehead tiredly. He had a strong suspicion now of what was happening.

"Look, here's our bus! Shall we?" Shinobu asked as he rose to his feet.

Tezuka followed him, feeling a bit like a limp puppet. For some reason, he was starting to pity Nagisa.

* * *

Echizen Ryoma had discovered the meaning of hell.

Being kidnapped was taking a considerable chunk out of his day, but he could have dealt with that. The ropes weren't that uncomfortable, and he figured he could take a nap until something interesting happened. Unfortunately, he wasn't being offered the chance. 

Despite their original protests, Fuji, Ryoma and Mitsuru had been relatively cooperative as the men shoved them into a posh apartment complex. Then they had been tied into chairs, apparently awaiting the arrival of Tezuka's cousin. The female one, not the one who was friends with the fake Tezuka. Tezuka's family made Ryoma's head hurt when he tried to think too hard on it.

Fuji Syuusuke was offering his most innocent smile to their kidnappers, several of which were sporting tennis-ball shaped bruises on their skin. The men looked at him warily. 

"You know, you really shouldn't tie us up like this," Fuji said.

"We're the bad guys. Of course we're going to be tying you up," the largest of the men said rather crossly.

"I understand, but you shouldn't be tying us up like _this,_ " Fuji stressed. "It's not very efficient." His hands did something, and the ropes fell away. "See?"

The men stared at him, utterly horrified. Ryoma decided then that their kidnappers were absolute idiots. He wondered what Fuji was up to.

"If you're going to tie someone up, you have to do it properly," Fuji said in a gentle voice, like a teacher correcting his pupils. "Let me demonstrate." He rose slowly, and when none of the men made any move to stop him, he walked over to Ryoma. "You didn't tie him up right, either."

"What do you mean?" the leader asked.

"See, Echizen is actually pretty flexible, and he could probably escape from this if he tried." Ryoma wished that looks could kill. He wanted Fuji dead at his feet, but all he could do was glare unpleasantly. Fuji patted him on the head like a puppy, causing Ryoma to squirm. "Too much wiggle room."

"Oh!" The light of knowledge seemed to be dawning.

"Now, if you wanted to do this right, you'd actually loop it through. Let me demonstrate." Ryoma winced as Fuji unwrapped the ropes, only to start tying them more tightly, wrapping them around both wrists before tying them together. "Relax, Echizen. I did this to Yuuta all the time when we were younger."

The thought was not in any way reassuring. He knew how much the Yuuta hated his brother. Apparently he had good reason. Ryoma glanced over at Mitsuru, who was watching with a carefully blank face. He _knew_ the older boy was laughing on the inside, and if there was one thing he hated, it was being laughed at!

"The trick is to tie it tightly without affecting circulation," Fuji said. "If you do it right, it's only uncomfortable for the person when they move. Since you don't want them moving, they'll stay still."

The men nodded in agreement. "Would it be easier with a different kind of rope? Or something else? Hideki wanted to use duct tape..."

"Duct tape? I suppose that's okay, but it really hurts coming off," Fuji said as he gave Ryoma's ropes one more jerk. "It takes the top layer of skin off." 

"Well, yes, but-"

"Trust me, if you want to tie someone up, there's nothing better than clothesline." Fuji smiled brilliantly. "It's cheap, easily available, and relatively strong." Ryoma wondered if he'd entered the twilight zone. Fuji was happily giving their abductors pointers on keeping prisoners. One of the men even had a notepad out and was taking notes. 

He should have known better than to get involved with _anything_ Fuji was up to.

* * *

Nagisa was running slightly late. Her manicure appointment had run over, which had thrown her entire schedule off. Of course she hadn't given her beautician a tip after such inconvenience.

She had dressed carefully, wearing a red scoop-neck dress that barely extended to cover her thighs. The color was good on her, and the three-inch heels on her sandals rang against the floor of the lobby when she finally arrived. She looked good, she knew, which was part of the whole role she was about to play. She nodded graciously to a handsome young man who smiled at her in the elevator, noting that his clothing spoke of money and position. Everyone who lived here had that, and it wouldn't do to cut off a potential admirer. 

As he stepped off on the third floor, she noted a business card flutter from his left hand onto the floor. He hurried off quickly, leaving the card in his wake.

She studied its elegant crispness against the green carpet of the elevator, wondering for a second what to do with it. Finally an idea struck her and she grabbed the card, turning to pin it to the residents notice board above the buttons. Using a very expensive red flair pen, she scrawled an invitation to call that number for a good time. It was her good deed for the day. Hadn't the man been after that? She merely was expediting matters.

Like she would honestly let _anyone_ touch her.

She was smiling to herself as she unlocked the door to the apartment. Her loyal henchmen had called and let her know that her cousin had been "detained." She couldn't wait to gloat that she had gotten the better of Mr. Perfect.

She wasn't expecting the _three_ faces that met her. One was her cousin, trussed up like a turkey, but the other two, boys wearing the same boring black uniform, she didn't recognize. She was irritated to note that one was actually untied, happily sipping a glass of lemonade. She forced herself to take a deep breath before turning to her henchmen, her teeth showing slightly.

"What is this?" she asked, her voice only rising a bit. The dark-haired boy muttered something about "cats in heat" and she shot him a glare. 

"You said no witnesses," the tallest of her employees said. She had forgotten his name again, and that annoyed her more than she cared to admit. It was so much more satisfying to scream obscenities when you could yell the idiot's name as well.

"I didn't mean for you to grab everyone in sight!" She folded her arms across her chest, a frown marring her perfect brow.

"They were with him," a second one chimed in. She couldn't remember him, either.

"So? Wait until he left them alone!"

"They were walking home together."

Most people wouldn't have noticed anything wrong with that observation, but Nagisa knew her cousin. He was antisocial, not the type to walk home with friends. Her skin tingled in a way she recognize, the feeling she had when something was about to go wrong. Suspicious, she looked closer at her "cousin."

Purple eyes stared back defiantly from behind gold-framed glasses.

"You're not Kun-chan!" she shrieked.

And that wretched, wretched boy had the _nerve_ to smile at her. "I never said I was."

* * *

Fuji listened as the woman who had just entered began to rant about incompetency. She would be pretty if her expression wasn't so disagreeable. She did, he noted, know how to dress with style.

The lemonade he was drinking was pleasantly tart, obviously fresh squeezed. He liked the guards, who seemed like decent enough chaps once you ignored the whole "hired thug" thing. Really, they were just like puppies that wanted a pet from their owner. One of them had even invited him to player billiards when this was all over after finding out Fuji enjoyed the sport. Fuji thought he'd go.

Watching Ryoma squirm was another highlight. The first year was too self-assured for his own good, and Fuji enjoyed watching him become disconcerted. Tying him up had been all too entertaining, and the revolted look as he stared at Nagisa was simply priceless. It was so much _fun_ watching someone get taken down a well-needed peg or two.

Nagisa had moved from stomping in anger to waving a finger in the face of the guard, every now and then pointing back at Mitsuru, who wore a slightly bored expression. He had managed to wiggle out of his bonds at some point - the guards really should have taken Fuji's advice and tied him more securely - leaving Ryoma the only one bound. Fuji noticed and winked at the Tezuka impersonator, who merely rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Enjoying yourself?" Mitsuru asked, staring at the nearly empty glass in Fuji's hand.

Fuji drank the last bit slowly, savoring the slurping sound that resulted. "Of course. Never turn down a free drink," he said. The guards and Nagisa were too involved with each other to note what their prisoners were doing.

"They could have put something in it," Ryoma pointed out sharply.

"Really?" Fuji gave Ryoma a sweet smile. Of course the guards hadn't drugged it. They liked him too much.

Ryoma shuddered. "Stop doing that, Fuji-senpai!"

"What?"

_"Smiling!"_

Fuji pulled out a hurt-puppy expression. "I'm sorry if it bothers you." Then he smiled again. "How are those ropes?" Ryoma growled something under his breath in English. Fuji didn't quite understand what the first year said, but it sounded nasty. He set his glass aside, and turned his back deliberately on his underclassman. "Any idea when the cavalry is going to charge in?" he asked Mitsuru.

Mitsuru checked the slender watch - the only article of clothing that was his own - and tilted his head as he considered it. "Knowing Shinobu? As soon as she starts threatening us again, which should be..."

Nagisa finally noticed that two of her hostages weren't as restrained as they should have been. She narrowed her eyes menacingly and she pointed one of her perfectly manicured fingers at Mitsuru. "And how," she asked in a voice that rivaled the Arctic winter for warmth, "do you explain this?"

The bodyguards blinked. "That one wasn't untied," the smallest one hedged, looking guiltily at Fuji.

"Oh?" Nagisa wasn't stupid and caught the prevarication. "Then explain _him_!" The red-tipped finger was now aimed at Fuji's chest.

Fuji gracefully caught her hand in a smooth movement, shaking it once. She looked poleaxed as he smiled at her cheerfully. "Hello! I understand you're Tezuka-san's cousin. He didn't tell me you were so pretty!"

She blushed a bit in surprise, but remembered herself quickly. "And just who are you?"

Fuji bowed a bit lower than necessary. "I'm Fuji Syuusuke, a friend of Tezuka's." His smile grew just a bit wider. "And you're about to be in big trouble."

On cue, the door opened on silent hinges, and everyone's attention was diverted.

* * *

Tezuka Kunimitsu stood framed in the doorway, his arms crossed firmly over his chest. He was the tallest person in the room (something Shinobu found amusing, since Mitsu _was_ only fourteen) and he looked like he was about to explode, though only those who knew him well would be able to recognize that.

Shinobu quickly surveyed the room, noting with satisfaction that Mitsuru and Fuji were both free. He didn't recognize the other kid who was there, but from the way the frown deepened on Mitsu-kun's face, he suspected it was another of his tennis teammates. 

He admired the angry expression on his cousin's face - a slightly raised right eyebrow and a certain firmness in his mouth. Behind his gold frames, the eyes had narrowed slightly, rather like a cat about to spring on a hapless canary. Mitsu-kun was quite imposing when he set his mind to it. Shinobu knew his cousin had a long, slow-boil temper, but like everyone in the Tezuka family, Kunimitsu tended to get nasty when he was pissed off.

Shinobu decided it would be best if he just watched the fireworks, positioning himself a half step back and to the side.

The silence hung deafeningly through the room. Nagisa's face was sorting through all kinds of interesting expressions and satisfying colors, her goons were gazing at her helplessly, and Mitsuru was smirking. 

"Hey, Kunimitsu! You're late!" Fuji chided. "Your charming cousin already served the drinks." Fuji sailed forward, holding out a nearly-empty wine glass. "Would you like something to drink? I'm sure the nice people can spare you a glass."

The look Nagisa gave him would have curdled milk. Shinobu couldn't help but admire how efficient Fuji was about getting under his sister's skin.

"Fuji." Tezuka's voice was as implacable as a glacier.

Fuji nodded a bit, then stepped back, apparently deciding to let Tezuka handle things.

"Hello, Nagisa-neesan," he said formally. "I believe you've abducted a few of my friends." He sounded thoroughly unamused. "If you really wanted to see me, a phone call or a note would have been sufficient."

Nagisa didn't seem capable of forming any coherent words. Her lips moved with silent rage as she tried to find something - anything - to say, but Tezuka wasn't done.

"I don't think I need to point out that you've just earned yourself several kidnapping charges," he said. "I could, of course, mention it to grandfather, and he'd probably feel obligated to inform his friends on the force."

Nagisa's face went from red fury to white panic. "Kun-chan..." she managed to stutter.

Shinobu enjoyed watching his cousin as Tezuka pulled his glasses out of his pocket, setting them on his nose before continuing. He was drawing this out deliciously. "There is also the possibility of an international incident, since Echizen is an American citizen."

Nagisa actually _whimpered._ It was such a sweet, sweet sound.

"However, since you are family, I believe I could make the effort to persuade Fuji and Echizen not to press charges, and I'm sure Ikeda-san would be willing to let it slide." Then he adjusted his glasses. "There would naturally be several provisions attached to such a scenario."

Shinobu couldn't help smirking. He had _known_ getting Mitsu-chan riled would be more than enough to make Nagisa wish she hadn't gotten out of bed that morning.

* * *

Mitsuru rubbed the bridge of his nose after removing the fake glasses. They had been just a touch too snug, but he could already feel his unnatural healing abilities kicking in, and knew it would be mere seconds until his appearance was restored to normal.

Nagisa had high-tailed it out of there as soon as she could, looking more shaken than Mitsuru would have imagined possible. Her cousin had been unfailingly polite, but still managed to rip her apart with well-chosen words and condescending explanations, as though she wasn't worth scraping off the bottom of his shoe.

Everyone expected Shinobu to be scary. Mitsu-chan had the same ability to terrify through words alone, but was much less overtly threatening. Mitsuru had to admit the subtly was admirable - and reaffirmed to himself that getting involved with Shinobu's family life was a bad, bad idea.

Fuji was happily rearranging the room, pushing furniture against the walls. Somewhere he'd found a tube of oil paint, and he spent several minutes spreading it on the wall, creating a rather art nouveau look. The navy blue paint actually looked attractive against the beige walls.

Mitsuru wondered idly if he should say something to stop Fuji's descent into vandalism, but the other boy was having such fun and didn't seem to be malicious about it - merely insanely curious, like it was something everyone should try once. Shinobu and Tezuka watched, one amused and the other irritable.

When Fuji found a laptop, abandoned by one of the men, he looked carefully out the window before giving it a merry heave. They could hear a rather sickening "thump!" as it landed in the parking lot three stories below. "I always wanted to do that," Fuji admitted. 

"Are you quite done?" Mitsu-chan asked, looking ready to defenestrate Fuji as well. His patience seemed to be nearing its limit, and Mitsuru thought Fuji was mad to push it.

"Just about!" Fuji answered cheerfully. Apparently he possessed no sense of self-preservation. They watched him vanish into the kitchen, and heard the sound of the refrigerator door opening.

"What's he doing?" Mitsuru asked.

"Nothing good," he heard Ryoma murmur, but Tezuka took him seriously.

"Probably making dinner for when they return," Tezuka replied.

"Dinner?"

"He likes being nice, occasionally." His words were belied by the coffee table balancing rather precariously between the arm-chair and sofa in a very-not-feng-shui arrangement.

"Uh-huh..." Mitsuru murmured without agreeing. If Mitsu-chan was scary, then Fuji approached Shinobu-esque levels of fear. He eyed the rope which had been abandoned on the floor with amusement. "So, Shinobu, are we done here?"

Shinobu had been examining the room with barely-checked gloating. "I think so, yes. You and Mitsuru can switch clothes back at your place. Fuji-san?" he called.

"Yes, Tezuka-san?"

"We're about ready to go!"

"Coming!" Fuji replied cheerfully, and after another loud "bang! bang! CLATTER!" returned to the room. Mitsuru realized it was probably a good thing he hadn't seen what Fuji had done to the kitchen.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" a rather unamused voice said.

They all turned to stare at Ryoma. "Yes?" Shinobu asked curiously.

Ryoma wore a sullen expression on his face. "Aren't you going to untie me?"


End file.
